Tattling on Elder Eddington

Having access to our own car in the Philippines has been a real blessing....and every day we are very grateful for this blessing.  I have even stopped complaining how I have to get out of the car to unlock the gate to our apartment complex, when I realized what the alternative would be .

The only form of transportation the younger missionaries have access to is tricycle, jeepney, or bus service. Only a few blessed elders have been given clearance to own bikes. So missionaries feel very forturnate when they work with us. Not that we are marvelous missionaries, but we provide free door-to-door personal service: service with a smile...and air con....and sometimes cookies!

However, there is a down side to driving here in the Philippines.  Elder can vouch for that. He is the one who has to contend with the billions of motorbike, jeepney, tricycle, bus, bicycle, kuliglig, truck, kalesa, and car drivers. 

Sidewalks are nonexistent here. The few sidewalks that do exist are used as parking places for motorbikes. So there are many pedestrians to watch out for who are walking in the streets. Not to mention the assorted animals that own the road: chickens and their chicks, goats and their kids, on-the-loose carabao, and dogs....millions of dogs. Lying-or-standing-in-the-middle-of-the-road dogs, nursing-their-puppies-in-the-street dogs, meandering-slowly-in-the-road dogs, and "I-can't-make-up-my-mind-which-way-to-go" dogs.  This reminds me of a book I used to read to the kids when they were young: Go, Dog, Go.  "Big dogs, little dogs,  fat dogs, skinny dogs, blue dogs.... "Hello, I like your hat. Goodbye."

Besides nonexistent sidewalks, traffic rules are also nonexistent.  Pretty much anything goes.  Passing on the right is acceptable.  If there is even a small empty space anywhere, it will immediately be filled by a quick-moving tricycle or motor scooter. 

There are very few stop signs anywhere.  There is one traffic light in all of Laoag and most of the time it is just blinking yellow.  Merging is the only way to make it through an intersection.  And not just casual, polite merging.  Courteously-aggressive merging is the only way to make it to your destination.  Elder has to determindly ease out into traffic and then just go for it, while I close my eyes, grit my teeth, and brace myself.

Not only are most of the streets very narrow, but they are filled with parked cars.  With no shoulders on the sides of the city streets, the only place to park is right on the street.  So many times the two-lane streets become one-lane roads as cars wait to go around parked cars. And if a car has to squeeze by another car, there is no room for error since streets are lined with deep ditches called "canals".

Night driving is the worst.  The country streets are unlit and curvy.  People are always walking on the side or middle of the roads without flashlights or reflector tape.  Half of the time the drivers drive without having their vehicle lights turned on.  The only thing we can figure is that they are trying to save their lights. If they do have their lights on, they turn them off right as they pass.  Not a good time to have things go dark! Bicyclists also drive in the dark,  not to mention the farmer headed home from his field with his carabao and cart or kuliglig and cart.  With all this going on, night driving is very dangerous.

Having said all this, Elder has done a superior job of navigating in the streets these last thirteen months.  The few scratches on the car have mysteriously appeared by hit-and-run culprits. However, after this lead-in, on to some dirt on Elder Eddington's driving experiences.

Dirt #1: We had only been here a few months. Elder was still trying to figure out the confusing street system: a street may be one way or two way depending on the time of day. One-way streets are also determined by the majority. If the majority of tricycle drivers are driving both directions on a one-way street, then it unofficially loses its "one-way street" status. Unless you are the white guy driving the wrong way on a one-way street, or if you happen to meet a traffic officer directing traffic at the intersection of the "one-way" street. Both of which happened to Elder.  In his defense, he didn't see the one-way sign as he entered the street going the wrong way.  But that didn't matter to the traffic officer who pulled him over.  Elder is probably the only driver in all of Laoag who has gotten a traffic ticket in the past year.  Drivers here treat the traffic rules as mere suggestions, and tickets are rarely given.  Even when Elder went to pay his ticket fine, no one seemed to know how to process his payment: unknown territory for the government employees.

Dirt #2: In spite of the fact that anything and everything lives in the roads, Elder has done a great job of not hitting anything living....except for the poor chicken that didn't make it across the road.  I was looking down and texting while Elder was driving, so I didn't see the carnage. All I heard was Elder exclaiming, "Oh, no! I just hit a chicken!" For some reason that struck me funny and I laughed all the way to our rendezvous with the missionaries.

Dirt #3:  A few weeks ago I broke the rules by not being the second pair of eyes for Elder as he was driving.  So many unpredictable activities are always occuring on Filipino roads that it takes two people to always be watching for the unexpected.  But a second pair of eyes is needed for Elder as he drives no matter how favorable the situation.  Elder has the habit of always taking in the scenery as he drives, which happened a few weeks ago.  He was observing the Bangui windmills as we were passing by them.

 Like I said, I broke the rules by sleeping while he was driving.  I was rudely awakened when the car started jerking violently to the left and then to the right and then the left again....as tires were squeeling the whole time.  Scared the daylights out of me as well as the Branch President's Counselor who was in the back seat! (I wonder why the Counselor hasn't asked for a ride since that day?)

Seems as how Elder didn't see the barracades on the road ahead of him in time to slow down since he was gawking at the windmills. Anyway that's the story he gave us. Was it REALLY the windmills that distracted him? (Make the following picture larger so you can see the billboard better. You decide if Elder's windmill story holds.)

But he was so proud of his marvelous driving skills.  He made it through his obstacle course without even one scratch or dent.  He attributes his success to his Mazda-driving days.

Elder definitely has a Traveling Guardian Angel watching over him as he drives.  He is protected as he zooms past the frequent slow-moving vehicles he encounters on curves, bridges, narrow roads, and dark streets.  I feel sorry for whichever Heavenly Angel has been given this hair-raising assignment of protecting Elder Eddington on the roads in the Philippines. (Question for you: "Do all angels besides Elder's angel have white hair?")